Whatever Story Comes To My Mind
by Determined Artist
Summary: Just like the title says. A bunch of random one-shot stories or some with a some chapters that connect. Stories happen to come up with for whatever reason. Expect it to be a bit inconsistent.
1. Not Gay

**Author's note:** Well, I finally got my first South Park fanfic, posted. Yay! Please be warned that, as of yet, I have only sawn a some clips and two reviews of ten episode of the show, so if this has any factual information errors then you know the reason.

The reason I did this so early on was that to give me something start with and story dose work well on its own.

Please note: that I don't do guy x guy relationships unless it's either in cannon, used as a gag, or in a brother/platonic way.

Now that's said and done, let's get to the fanfic.

* * *

"Great; th-th-this is all your f-f-f-fault, Cartm-m-man!" stated an irritated Kyle as he and his friends sat in a cave shivering form the cold that blown in. "Now t-t-the camp ra-ra-rangers would f-f-f-find us f-f-frozen."

"My f-f-f-fault? You were the one with the ******ing map d-d-dude!" The fastest child, who was farthest away from the entrance said just as equally angered as his green hat wearing friend.

Meanwhile Stan who sat in between his two bickering friends just ignored them and as for Kenny... well, just as luck would have it he sat closet to the entrance. The orange parka wearer hoped that he wouldn't freeze to death again. It wasn't fun the first time and he was sure as hell it wouldn't the second time.

"T-t-t-t-that's before y-y-you took it and t-t-t-thrown it at that f-f-fucking bear! Y-Y-You F**'% fat ass!"

"Hey, i-i-i-it's not my fa-fa-fault that bear j-j-just so happened t-t-t-to be w-where I was t-t-throwing, you (Beep)ing J*%**!"

It was this moment that the area grown quiet with nothing, but strong winds blowing snow outside. Cartman trembled a bit before Stan wrapped his arm around him. "What? Agh!" Soon the red coat child pushed his friend away. "W-W-What the hell St-St-Stan, go b-b-be gay s-s-somewhere else?"

"W-whoa dude, c-c-calm d-down? W-w-we n-need to s-s-share body he-he-heat."

"H-h-he's right," Kyle spoke up again. "d-d-d-dude. W-We n-n-need to st-st-stay warm s-s-s-somehow." At that moment, the green hat wearer felt arms wrapping around him. He turn to see it was Kenny still shivering. Kyle gave a soft smile and place an arm on his immortal friend's back.

As that was going on, Stan uttered "S-s-see Cartman? I-It's not g-g-g-gay."

"W-W-Whatever butt li-licker. I-I-It's still g-gay." It was at that moment that the blue-knit-cap wearer basically said screw his fat friend, he's a lost cause and moved towards Kyle and wrapped his arms around him.

Meanwhile Cartman was all alone. Oh, his pride and his stubbornness was strong, but desperation kicked into hyper drive and he gave in. He kept towards Stan and said "F-F-Fine, but you f-f-fart k-k-k-knockers own m-m-me." He leaned over and hugged Stan.

The four kept like that until they fell asleep and weather cleared up, but at that moment in time, the boys was glad to have each other.


	2. Come Back

**Author's note:** Okay here's another fic at random. Interesting. Anyways this fic stars with Stan and Kenny, in the friendship genre. Let see how good this turned out?

* * *

Upon opening his eyes Kenny felt pain in his chest. A pain he was all too familiar with, but just as he struggled to get up, his brain remembered something-something important. Where's Stan? He looked around, quickly sifting through the broken and brunt debris that littered the area.

His eyes soon widen as he saw a familiar figure. "STAN!" The orange clad boy called out through his parka. His friend didn't move. He rush over to his companion's side ignoring the pain brought on to the rod imbedded in his chest. "Stand?" He called out again, but only a groaned came out.

Kenny that this is bad. His friend's chest was cut and blood just keep poring out. It made him feel sick to see some he care about losing that much. It was that moment the orange Parka wearer let out seral choughs. Pulling the hand away from his mouth he saw blood-his own blood. He panicked. This was so bad. But brushed that not long after. He had to focus on Stan. Kenny knew would come back if he dies he always have been and always will that to his damn curse, but Stan on the other was not so lucky.

Thinking quickly, he torn off his Parka and wrapped tight around Stand's chest. He also made sure to be gentile too. if there was one good thing that came out of having that blasted curse was he knew how much it hurt to even tap a wound.

After he was done he let out more choughs. All he have to do now was to get someone-anyone to find Stan before he dies himself.

He sprinted, however only made to a tree a few feet away. Out of breath he leaned on the plant in pain and painting. It was though, however Kenny wasn't going to let Stan die hear. All his life he fear the pain that was brought upon by dying, but there was one thing he feared more that then that and it was being alone and forgotten. Before he met his friends he was alone for the most part, his parents kept arguing with each other and older brother didn't want to have anything to do with him. He still has memories of that and it was hell, honestly he would rather shot himself in the head again than go back to that time.

If it was Cartman injured he would debate about it at least, but since Stan and Kyle was there for him and were nice to him and he didn't it to be only he and Kyle, he at least owe Stan this much.

"Hey" A voice sprang out. Through a vision that kept slipping in and out of blurry and clear he saw a man's flash shining right at him. A smile brought upon his face. The boy waved to try to get his attention. As soon he spotted the man running towards him, he dashed back to Stand who lied in the same spotted.

Kenny slowed down before collapsing to the other boy's side. He felt week, but at least his friend has a fighting chance now. "K... Kenny?" A tired voice popped up.

The Parka wearer turned and focus his fading sight on Stan who stared back at him with a soft smile. "I 'am here."

"You patched me up, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah. It was no problem."

"Thanks pal. You know? You would make a pretty good doctor."

"Really?" He asked. At that moment, Kenny vision became more blurred and his body started to become numb. He hoped that he could hang on bit more to hear what his friend would say.

"Yeah man. My still hurts though, but I... feel better than I was..." It was this moment that the orange parka wearer could hold on. All the pain and the panic was worth it, he hoped. He hoped that when he wakes up again like always did that his friend would have gotten the help he needed.

* * *

When Stan woken up, he noticed that he was in the hospital. He found that out from the room he was in and the doctor not long after he walked in said. "So, how are you feeling kid?"

"Uh, good-what? Where Kenny?"

"Kenny?"

"Yeah; the kid in the orange parka, he was right there when the building explode."

"No, uh? The paramedics didn't find anybody else, just you."

"WHAT?! He-he had to be there, he just had to."

"Look kid, the paramedics only found you." The boy let out small sigh. He Kenny's not dead, he felt for what happen. He wanted to say something, something that only his friend has to hear, but he guessed that it's now too late. Just the doctor spoke up and brought Stan out his thoughts. "Well, we did seem to notice that someone patched up your wound."

"What?" Stand's eyes widen.

"Indeed, whoever they were they seem to know quite a lot about patch wounds with a sleeve of some kind."

 _No way, couldn't be?_

"It saved your life."

 _"You patched me up, didn't you?"_

 _"Oh yeah."_

 _"Thanks pal. You know? You would make a pretty good doctor."_

"Now why don't you take it easy for a while, get some rest your friends and family will come to see you doing in a few hours?" He didn't how, but the memory just came forth. Despite not remembering the imagery, he remember the voices loud and clear; his and Kenny's. This only made more perplex. Kenny sounded like we wasn't doing so good.

As the doctor left, Stan hoped and prayed that his orange clad friend made it out of that building in time.

A few seconds later he let himself fall asleep, forgetting the concern for Kenny.

* * *

"STAN!" A voice popped up. The boy wanted to go back to his nice, blissful slumber, but the voice came forth again. "Stan!" Despite, not wanting to, he better check who it is. Just as he opened his and his sight came back into focus, he saw a sight that surprised him, Kenny looking at him concerned, but alright.

"K-KENNY! You're okay? Oh man, I thought I lost you."

"Yeah; I came looking for you after school was out."

"Glade that you alright man."

"Yeah; me too."

"You were the one who patched me up last night, didn't?"

"You remembered?"

"Not much, but I do remembered what we said." Kenny didn't say anything after that just gave a smile. "Thanks again pal."

"Oh, no problem."

"Listen, sorry about pressing that button. I should have never made you go into that building with me."

"Don't worry, everything's alright now."

"Yeah."

It was at this moment that familiar voice made itself known followed by another. "Oh, come on Cartman, I keep telling you that Stan's room is this way."

"And I keep telling you but licker that it is this way."

"Just shut up and come this way? Just then the door opened and the two boys friend's... Well one friend, Kyle and the piece of shit, Cartman walked in.

"Oh hey, you guys we would have been here sooner, but _somebody can't read some crappie directions."_

"Whatever, a**** hole. How you're doing Stan?"

"Fine, just a little bit in pain."

"That's good." Kyle mentioned, but after he said that Cartman being himself muttered, though everyone could hear him.

"Aw man can't believe, Stan gets out of school for a few weeks while we're stuck doing math." At that moment, Kyle kicked his fat, so-called-friend in the ankle. "Ow."

"Well, we I just drop off the home work from today."

"Thanks you guys."

"Aw no problem dude."

"Yeah, just..." Just as Cartman rattled of his typical, selfless things off Kyle stopped him by kick him again.

"Ow, Kyle what did you do for?" Cartman whined before Stan and Kenny laughed, though the blue-knit-hat wearer was in pain for a bit.

But Kenny and Stan didn't seem to mind, they were glade everything's going to be alright.


	3. Suck It

**Genre : Humor**

* * *

"Ow, Ow, Ow." was all Cartman been able to spit out as he lied on the ground with his butt in the air.

Kyle and Kenny could only watch as Cartman fights against the venom of the snake that bit him in the ass. If wasn't for the fact that Cartman's life is on the line and that they would get in trouble for leaving him there, then they would be laughing their boots off right now.

"Hey you guys."

The two orange clad children broke the gaze from their fat friend and spotted their other friend Stan heading towards them. "Oh hey dude, what going on? Are the paramedics coming?" Kyle questioned in a not so concern tone.

"Yeah, they should be here in about a few minutes."

"Good. Now-"

"Ow. Guys I 'am not going to make it..." Cartman uttered sounding like he was talking in his sleep. "tell everyone... they suck especially you Kyle, you you..."

"Oh god, I think he's getting worse!"

"What do we do now?" Stan asked.

"I think we have to suck the venom out-"

"What?!" both the brown coat laid and the parka wearer blurted out.

"Well, forget it, I 'am not doing it." Stan informed.

Kenny soon muffled up. "Yeah; me neither."

"Guys, we can't let him die, what would our parents say?." Silence filled the area as Kyle's would friends appear to be still debating with themselves.

"Fine, we'll draw sticks." It was at that moment, Kyle walked over to nearby tree and pluck twigs. "Whoever gets the shortest stick has to suck Cartman's f**** ass." He said he held-out three twigs with his hand covering the bottom.

The other lads where hesitant at first, but cave in. Just as Kenny pulled out the twig he chose he gasp. "Huh? No!"

"Wow, you got the shortest stick dude." The Jewish boy spoke up as he and Stan both looked on in shock.

"No-no-no! I don't want to!"

"Though luck dude."

"Yeah; there's no backing out of it."

Kenny could feel his breakfast wanting to make an encore appearance, but he held strong. "Alright, but you guys me."

"Alright fine dude, just get to suck Cartman's ass." The parka shuddered. He done some stupid stuff before, but none of was from stuff he dreaded doing except this. Honestly, he would rather eat a spleen from a matinee again then to do this. At least he would get paid.

Kenny stood behind Cartman.

"Come on dude."

"Yeah, he's not getting any better."

The parka wearer gulped before pulling down his fat friend's clothing. Why couldn't it be someone else then this f**** piece of sh****t. He then started to suck on the puncture holes. After he suck up, what he could hold, Stan spoke up. "Good now spit it out." Which he does. "Good, now do it again."

As Kenny kept repeating the process and Kyle and Stan watched, the Paramedic rushed up, behind them.

"We're the paramedics we-My god, what are those boys doing?" questioned a paramedic as his brain tried to piece together what he's seeing.

"You see doctor, our friend is sucking the poison of our other friend's *ss ." stated Stan. The paramedic, just looked onwards in perplex.

When Cartman woken up, he was in a room on a bed with Stan and Kyle next to him. "Huh-what happened?" He asked, appearing as if trying to get more awake.

It was this moment that Kyle spoke up. "You were bitten by venoms snake and you were taken to the hospital."

"Huh?"

"Yeah; you should have seen it, Kenny sucked the poison out of your a****, dude." Stan add in.

"What?"

"Don't worry, he's in the next throwing up and is being treated with anti-venom. Apparently you can get poisoned too if you suck them out of someone else."

"Oh."


	4. Rest Room Search

**Genre:** Humor

* * *

In the small town of South Park, everyone stood waiting to get to a rest room. It seems like that the towns folk eat some mutated cow flesh and broccoli. Don't ask? And after a certain incident with a few toilets left their numbers of commodes to cut in half. Now they have to stand lines waiting for the bathroom. In one of them, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny stood at the end, squirming, trying to keep it in. "G*d d**** it, what the hell is going on over there?" Kyle asked in an angered tone.

At the same time, in the front, Mr. Garrison walked out of the stall while a random person scattered in. "Wow, that was close. I thought I wasn't going to make it back there."

Just as the line moved a step forward, Kyle spoke up again. "Ugh. Dude, we have to fine a bathroom soon or we might exploded."

"What, when has that.. ugh, ever happen?" Stan questioned, hoping that keeping in his pee hasn't affected his friend's brain. Just then, another person strolled-bye catching the three boys attentions.

"Oh god, I 'am not going to..." It was at this moment that the person's body exploded, leaving a pool of pee behind.

"Ah!" The trio gasped with wide eyes at the scene.

"We have to go soon. Come on guys." Stan said and the little group head off.

After a painful and trying minute, still have found the 'royal thrown'. Also a bit more people exploding in the background.

"Why don't we... take a p*** behind a dumpster or something?" Stan questioned to his two friends.

"Dude, there are girls... out, we need them seeing... that." As the two boys continue having there conversation, Kenny spotted a fountain near-bye. This made the parka wearer happy. As the orange clad boy made no haste to the area, Tweek came squirming bye.

"Well, wear else are we spose to go?" The blue boy asked.

"Agh-ugh..."

"Oh hey, Tweek."

"Agh... Th-This IS BAD YOU GUYS THE BATHROOM ARE BEING USED!"

"Tweek, we know."

"Agh."

"Hey, where's Kenny?"

"Look!" Kyle pointed towards the fountain and the guys saw what their Jewish friend was wanting them too see, Kenny happily sitting in the fountain. Just then, the statue that was in the middle broke and fall on the parka wearer.

At that moment, Stan gasped and said "Oh my God they killed Kenny!"

Followed by Kyle uttering "You bast****s!"

"Agh!" Tweek jumped before urinated in his pants. "WHA! AHHHHH!" It was at this moment that the twitching kid running off. Stan and Kyle watched until their coffee high friend was out of sight.

"Come on, there has to be some place we can go." Stan and Kyle soon rushed off.

The two kept their searched, but after a few minutes Kyle slowed down. Just as the green hat boy fall to his hands knees, Stand rushed over to his fallen friend.

"I don't think... I can hold it in."

"You gotta!"

"Save yourself... from the... embarrassment." Kyle uttered as hung his hand. It was this moment that, the kid with the brown coat noticed a puddle forming underneath his friend. He gasped and jumped back with widen eyes. Stand hesitated for a second before abiding his Jewish friend's wishes and running off.

He has to find a place, he just got to. Stan soon found himself in a construction site, there he saw it, an opened porta potty. It was a gift from the heavens. Sure porta potties are the best place to do that, but right now Stan wasn't being picky. He staggered his way towards in. So close, yet far away.

Just as he was about two feet away, Cartman came out of nowhere and went into the stall. The child in the brown coat widen his eyes as stood place, frozen like his the pause button. At that moment, he couldn't hold it any longer and let it come out.

A few seconds later the fat kid walked out. "Wow good thing this porta potty was here." He then turned to see Stan still in the same he's been. "Oh hey, Stan. Wow, you should really change your clothes, dude." Cartman soon took his leave, leaving Stan the way he was.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Omg I killed Kenny in this. I 'am a b****tard. ;p Anyway I hope this was okay. Let's hope my next fic would be better?


	5. Cartman's Prank

**Genre: Humor**

* * *

"Uh." Uttered Cartman as he sat up, just getting awake. His started come back to him. He and his friends were sleeping at his house. Needless to say they had a party and they party hard.

He looked back to said friends fast asleep. The that woke him up and get a mischievous idea was, in a distance he could see his Jewish friend, Kyle resting next to his orange clad friend, Kenny with Kyle's arm over top Kenny's body, while Stan slept closer

 _Perfect. H_ e thought. He rushed to get a camera, whipped cream, and some cherries. The brunet carefully put the whipped cream on Stan's face and place the cherries on top where his eyes should be. Yep, he going to be d****, but he wasn't giving a damn. This was just too fun. He took a picture of the scene before moving towards his other friends. He took another picture then pulled his drawers, place in Kyle's face, and farted.

"What?!" Kyle spoke as he coughed, causing the other two to wake up. "Gross man."

"What?" Stan questioned as he gotten up and whipped the cream from his face. "Dude, what did you do to me?" It was this moment that fat ass laughing his butt off. He knew that his friends going to beat him to bloody pulp, but he did his black-mail. So worth it.


	6. Waiting Room Hell

**Author's Note:** Back again another fic. This is result of wounding if the world of South Park had a purgatory waiting, room like you see some cartoons, what the reaction of another person if Kenny told him one of his embarrassing deaths.

You find out soon enough. With that said, let's get this humors one-shot.

* * *

Kenny had, yet again died and now sitting the waiting room in purgatory. He waited for his number to be call and for him to no doubt be reborn, like always. He looked at his ticket with a sadden expression. It said 3943. The Parka wearer peered up to the screen 3564. Still a ways to go. He sigh.

"Hey kid?" A deep voice called from the side. He turned to see a muscular biker dude sitting. "What are in for?" The biker said in what sound to be genuine curiosity. "Since we're going to be for a while."

Kenny sighed again, embarrassed by this death. "I shoved a tampon up my ass."

"Uh, what?"

"I said, I shoved a tampon up my ass!"

"Whahahaha! Don't those things are only for babes, kid."

"Hey I thought I was on my f*****ing period you loud bouncing va****ia! I didn't know it was f****ing colon infection!"

"Hahhahaha! You're killing me kid! Hahahahaha! Again. Hahahaha!"

Kenny waited until dude was done. Once finished, the child soon asked "So, what are you in here for, D***?"

"Getting in a bar fight and setting myself on fire."

"How is that any better then what I did?"

"Because it wasn't gay, kid." Kenny didn't respond. The dude had point, but damn, why couldn't the dude died in a more embarrassing way?

* * *

 **Author Note** : Okay I hope you like. Also I have no problem with gay people, in fact I say keep being gay. (3 The reason why the biker dude was saying that, was more in the definition of it sucking in a way.

Sorry, but I thought I should bring that up. Anyways whish me luck in the next fic.


	7. Fear

**Author's Note:** Don't asked where this came from because I don't remember. Also feel free to tell how I did and if possible, tell me what I can improve. I'll love it if you do. I 'am cool with criticism. Hey? Don't we all need to be criticize every once-in-awhile?

The genre for this is friendship mixed in with a little of humor.

* * *

"Aw, Come on Kenny? It's not going to hurt you." Stan said as he Kyle and Cartman moved towards a frighten Kenny. Kenny known that he was scared of what his friend, Kyle held within his hand, but he didn't know it was this deep rooted. He curled up himself into ball, shaking in the corner of the school's rest room.

"No!" He uttered, still shaking.

"Yeah dude, it's just a rose. Even the thorns have been removed." Kyle said as held out the horrid flower.

"No!" Honestly, the way felt right was that he didn't want to see another rose for as long he doesn't get killed again..

"Agh, come on Kenny you gotta get this stupid fear of yours!" Cartman spoke up in angered tone.

"Yeah dude, Cartman's right. We need you to play _Sleeping Beauty_." Stan added.

Easy for them to say they didn't have their 'firemen' and bodies stabbed after some dumb*** dropped a box full of roses into a ball launcher, just seconds before death. "No!"

"Yeah, no other boy is willing to do it." Kyle encouraged.

"No! I... I can't guys!" Kenny could tell that his friends were trying to help, even Cartman in his... well let's 'unique way' and he was thankful for that, however the fear and the memory of the 'fire man' being stabbed is embedded in his mind. It's not something that one could forget, especially boys. If wasn't for his curse erasing everyone's memories of his deaths, then his companions would understand or at least Stan and Kyle.

"He seems really scared of this thing."

"Maybe we should give him some space?" Stan suggested.

To which Kyle replied. "Yeah. Come on Cartman?"

"What?! Were just going to walk away while Kenny p***es out?"

"Yeah, we can't make him do it if he doesn't want to." Stan relied as he Kyle walked off.

"AH, GOD D**** IT! WHAT GOING TO ABOUT THE SCHOOL THEATER COMPETETION?"

"Where just going to have to get another kid, Cartman." Kyle said.

"F**** you Kenny!" At that moment, Kenny heard the trio head out. He sighed, relaxed, and went on his way, confident that they could get someone. However, just a hours later he overheard his friends talking in a room.

"Come on guys," The voice of Stan's sprang up. "we need someone to play S _leeping Beauty_."

"Uh, wouldn't that make us gay?" A voice spoke up.

"Listen? Kenny's afraid of rose's right and we can't get him to get over it, so we're going to need one of guys to be S _leeping Beauty."_

"Uh I don't know."

"Yeah me neither" another voice sprang up.

At that moment, multiple voices popped-up. "Yeah!"

"Hey! We're going to black-mail you!" Cartman uttered in an irritated tone.

"So, go right ahead?" said the first voice.

"Yeah; we're not going to embarrasses ourselves."

"AGHHH!"

"Guess that we're not going to be able beat those six graders?" questioned Kyle.

Kenny felt bad for his actions, but he didn't want to suffer like last time. Well enough is enough. He's going to put an end to this. He dashed around until he found some roses laying near the stage. He felt his heart raced and his body stiffen. As much as he didn't want to do it, he had to for the play and for his friends. He plucked up the courage and inched father towards the plants.

But as he gotten closer his heart beat rapid-fire. It was then that it gave out and Kenny died of fear. When he came back he tried again, however ended the same fate.

By the third time, he grabbed it and cheered. Finally, he kicked his fear in the balls. The parka wearer soon rushed over and searched for his friends with the plant in his hand.

When he spotted them, he muffled. "Hey guys!"

"Oh, hey Kenny." Stan greeted him alerting the other two of the parka wearer presence.

"Look!" He said holding out the plant.

"Woah dude, did you concur your fears?" Kyle asked looking surprised as the other two.

"Yeah."

"This is good you guys, now we have chance to beats those six graders." said Stan and the gang agreed. On the day of the competition, everyone played their parts the best they could do, especially Kenny. However, as during the play, the bed Kenny lied on, which was an old medical bed that was thrown out, came up and smashed the parka wearer killing him.

"Oh god they killed Kenny!" Stan stated after he witness his friend's passing.

"You b****tard!" Kyle soon add in.

Well, he might have gotten over his fear, but there was somethings that will never change.


	8. Taking It The Worng Way

**Author's notes:** Don't asked about errors you might find in here. I just done this for fun and thought this idea was funny.

Yes, this is another humors tell. Also I 'm not much of a shipper unless it's cannon or platonic, but whatever hints of shipping is here is made for humor sake. Hope you guys like this and hope you guys have a good Valentine's Day, more so then the characters in this story.

* * *

"Hey Stan?" Kyle greeted as his other friends walked towards the blue-knit hat wearer.

"Oh hey guys."

"What's wrong dude?"

"Yeah, look like you gotten the shit kicked out you?" Cartman added in.

Stand sigh before responding. "It's just that, it's Wendy."

"Whoa, don't tell us she's plain on breaking up with you?"

"Breaking up?" Kenny muffled through parka in a perplexed tone.

"What? No, that's not it. It's that we've hanging out a little too much. She follows me everywhere, even what outside of the boy's bathroom and now she's been sending me texts every five seconds." It was this moment that Stan's pone started to go off. He brought it out of his pocket, checked it and groaned.

"Whoa dude what's wrong?" questioned Kyle as Kenny and Cartman watched with concerned looks.

"It's Wendy. She send me another text, saying she's coming this way."

"Whoa dude, you got to ditch her."

"Yeah; she's turning into level four clinger. You got to break up with her." Eric added in for the second time.

Stan took another sigh. "I 'm not ditching her. I just want her to get her off my back for a while."

"Oh, I got an idea!" Kenny spoke.

"Wow, you do?" At that moment, Stan froze and tensed up as he heard an all too familiar footsteps creeping closer like a stalker. "Okay, hurry and tell me before gets here?" Stan whispered as started too panic. The parka wearer took off his hood. He brought his terrified friend's face towards his and they locked lips.

Stan looked on with wide-eyes as he and his friend continue to keep mouth contact. Stan didn't know what make of this scene; I mean how he, his friend is just randomly making out with him could. At the corner of his eye, Stan saw Wendy, aw struck and in tears. As he watched girlfriend ran away, he pulled Kenny off of him and said "What the f****!" in irritated tone. "God damn it Kenny, that's not what I meant!"

As the blond clad boy watched his friend gag and spit multiple times, Kyle and Cartman looked on, making mental note not to come to Kenny for solutions to their love troubles.


	9. Closet Trouble

**Author's note:** Yeah I got another chapter posted up and this another I did for fun and humor. So this will be interesting. Also Stan and Kenny gets spared from this story. I love Stan, Kenny, and Kyle they're three of favorites, but I 'm not afraid to put those boys through hell time to time. This story is more centered with two other characters. Again I did this for fun and humor. (3

Well, here goes nothing.

* * *

"What? Agh, God damn it! This is all your fault Kyle?" Cartman said as he and Kyle were wedged in the school's old, small, and locked closet.

"Me? You were the one who wanted me to see this secret plan yours to get at those girls after they dressed us up in girl clothes!" Now I would make a joke about them releasing _sexual tension_ , but seeing how the anime _Hetalia_ already made that and there's already enough Kyle x Cartman stuff going around, I better not.

"Hey, I looked good as girl, you were the one who were that was b***tching! You **** Jew!"

"Yeah right, fat a$$."

"That's it, Kyle you're going down!"

"Hey"

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

Just then door opened, make the two friends stopped. They turned and saw Kenny standing in the entrance. "Kenny! No! Wait!" Kyle blurted out as he and Cartman saw the parka wearing friend closed and struggled to get out. However it was too late and the still trapped in the blasted closet.

The boys sat in silence for a while, never talking, not even uttering a sigh. Though did have scowl on his face as tried to fathom how and his fat friend got into this mess and how are they going to get out.

All of sudden Cartman spoke up. "Uh, Kyle?"

"What?" The Jewish boy questioned. Honestly, Why did have to Cartman off all people to be trapped with?

"I have to pee." Kyle's eyes widen the utterance of that.

God d*** it, don't you dare do that? You hear me Cartman!"

"But I got to go!" The fat kid whined.

"AHHHH! SOMEONE HELP!" Kyle bagged and prayed to whatever great force is out might be listening that he could be spare from Cartman going potty. At that moment, the sound knob turning sprung up before the door opened and the sight of Stan took up the sight.

"Whoa dude, I could hear you screaming from the hall." The brown coat boy said as he stared the two with a concerned look.

"Thank-uf" Kyle was about to say before Cartman pushed away.

"Screw this, I 'm going to the bathroom."

This was the day Kyle made a mental note to not be in a cramp place with Cartman again.


	10. Internet Quiz

**Author's Note** : Yay another chapter I did for fun and humor. Though, this one is also short, I hope you guys like it. (3

* * *

"Hey Cartman." Kyle greeted his friend as he and other friends, Stan and Kenny walked towards their fat friend.

"Woah, you guys check it out?" Cartman call from a seat in front of a computer.

As the trio looked, Stan questioned. "Hey is that one of those personality quizzes?"

"Ha ha. Yeah, ha ha check it out? I got _Luffy_ from _One Piece_?"

"What the hell?-let me try?" Kyle commanded as he pushed Cartman out of the way a bit. He then went and took the quiz himself, to which he got... "Ash Ketchum from _Pokémon_?" It was this moment that Cartman burst out laughing. "Aw that's lame."

"SHUT IT, CARTMAN!"

"Let me try?" asked Stan. After Kyle gave his the controls without complaint, he took it and ended up with... _Batman_... freaking _Batman_.

"Holy crap dude, you gotten batman?" Kyle said in shock.

"Wow." said in supirse, yet kind of amazed at the results.

"What, agh!" Cartman Bit***hed.

At that moment, Kenny wanted to try, so the others let him take crack at it. He gotten _Tuxedo Mask_ from _Sailor_ Moon. "What?" The parka wearer muffled in bafflement.

If the others thought that Cartman had his laugh when Kyle took his, they hadn't seen anything. Cartman was now laughing his butt off.

"Hahaha-god that's super lame Kenny! You've gotten _Tuxedo Mask_!"

"Shut up Cartman? What's lamer about _Tuxedo Mask_ then _Luffy_?"

The hooded boy didn't get answer out his fat jack-wagon of a friend. Not like he was expecting much. Cartman just kept on laughing.

Just then, Stan asked "What kind of quiz was that?"

"Hm, let's see?" replied Kyle. Kenny soon gave his Jewish friend the controls. The green hat boy soon found what he and two non-giggling friends were looking for.

It was Stan who read the title. "What kind of animated guys should go on a date with you?"

"God damn it Cartman, this is a test for girls!" Kyle said as he, Stan, and Kenny glared at their fat friend, though it didn't bother their fat friend in the slightest.


	11. Singing A Song

**Author's note:** Hello back again with another story, I just thought up, while doing some _Sgt. Frog fan fics_. Yeah, if this story sounds like something that might come from that Anime or any other then you know the reason.

Alright, now that's put of the way let's get to this story and it's a humorous one.

* * *

Stan watched as Cartman walked off stage from a karaoke contest that South Park was holding. The fat kid boasted. "Oh yeah that was no biggie."

"No biggie?" responded Kyle. "Dude, you messed up on the lyrics and you sound like a dying cat." It was true, he did. Though, Stan decided not to speak up.

"Oh yeah? I would like to see you do better!"

"Oh yeah?" The green hat boy questioned in an angered tone as got up close to Cartman meeting eye-to-eye. "I think I can!" At this moment, the two heated boys were so close that the shippers would start getting creative with their imagination. However, the three didn't know that could be perceive by the outside observer.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Well..." Cartman uttered Stan could tell Eric was up to something, but what? "you do it with Stan?"

"What?" It was at this moment, that both the blue cap kid and the orange coat wearer asked, while giving off shocked glances.

"Ha! I knew you were too chicken."

The black hair child knew what his fat friend was doing. This was as good time as any to intervene before his friend could embarrassed them. "Come dude let's-?" He was about to say as he tried to grab Kyle's arm, only to be pushed away and him being interrupted.

"No Cartman, where doing it! Come on Stan?" Jewish boy soon walked-off with Stan following.

"Dude, are we really gonna to do this?" Stan questioned.

Kyle replied right after. "Of course we are. We aren't just gonna let Cartman win?" Once the duo walked to the registration booth. "Two please?" The lady working there handed the tickets. "Now, let's get out there and win this?"

The two friends head behind the stage, where a guard was station. Kyle gave him the tickets and the guard made a gesture to go in.

The pair soon made it towards a short line that formed to where the contestants waited. Once it become Kyle and Stan's turn, the boys moved to center stage.

Stan didn't say anything all through this, but he had a bad feeling that things are not going to go smoothly for them.

The boys waited until the TV screen that stood in a distance flashed the given song title _Two Voices, One Song._

"Oh man, why did it have to be that song?" Stan blurted out as he pinched the bridge of nose.

"What are you talking about?" asked Kyle. "I don't see anything wrong with it?"

"It's a really gay song. Shelly, use to play this song all the time."

"And they expect us to sing it?"

"Just follow my lead?" It was quiet clear to the team that this was going to be awkward as hell. The music star up before the lyrics showed up.

Kyle and Stan sung them into the mics in front, though a bit hesitant. Most likely because it was a girly song.

Meanwhile, Carman watched with anticipation, waiting for his friends to screw up, but after the song went on the singing boys appeared too eased from weird-out to enjoyment. It was at this moment that the crowd stared to cheer. "What?" he questioned in disbelief. "God damn it!" Those two were doing good and appeared to be having fun as well.

The fat kid wasn't going to stand-by and let those two show him up, especially not Kyle. He took stroll looking around for something-anything he could use for sabotage.

Soon a random boy passing-bye, asking "Has anyone seen my gribble, Koko? Koko!" Cartman couldn't give a cent about that. He needed make his friends suffer.

Just then, he spotted the stage controls with the operator tending to the thing. Perfect.

The chubby kid walked towards the man in front of the controls, however just as he was about to say something, the operator beat him to it. "No way kid."

"God ***** it! Why not?"

"You're way too young to play with this sort of thing."

Just then, another man strolled in. "Operator we needed your help-!" He then proceeded to whisper something in the operator's ear.

"Oh *****! We need to get those birds ASAP!"

Once the two men left Cartman took it upon himself to take over of the controls and have a seat. He distorted the volume that the two singers sing weird audio.

Both Kyle and Stan was wounding was going on, but as they saw the fat butt, the two decided to keep going. No way in the _Twilight Light Zone_ are they going to let Cartman get the satisfaction of being proven right.

Back at the kid with the red coat, he soon blurted-out. "What?" They're still doing it. That's it. He was going to put a stop to this. He tried to mess with the volume a bit more, but the machine sparked, restarting the sound and making the way it was before it was tampered.

It was then that Cartman saw something come out of the electronic, a gribble. The animal scurry away after words. "AGH, GOD ****** IT!"

While that was going on Kyle and Stan just finished the song and everyone cheered. The crowd rushed towards the two boys, scoop them up, held them in the air and carry them away.

Cartman on the other hand was furious. "WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" He yelled.

It was that moment that the fat kid heard something above him. He looked up to see some pigeons perched up on spotlight holders they turned and started too pooped on him.

As Cartman screamed and being punished Stan spoke up with a smile. "Wow, that wasn't that bad."

Kyle soon asked "It's sill gay though?"

"Yeah, totally?"

* * *

 **Author's note:** Thanks for ready this. I 'am sorry to those I might have offended with having charters say that the song _Two Voices, One Song_ from the _Barbie and the Diamond Castle_ is gay. I really like that song and recommend it. However, could you see any of these boys singing that song aside from maybe Kenny and Butters, without calling it gay? I can't.

Also I think that song did suit the two nicely.

And sorry for making it that Cartman can't sing. I know he can. I think he's one of the better singer I heard from, I just decided make it like that for fun. Again Sorry.


End file.
